I think it's only been 2 weeks but I still don't have any work. I am going c r a z y at home. I'm still getting paid so I guess I can look at this as a vacation? No! I need work, I like work! Time to vent again- I HATE STAYING HOME. I miss my business clients, the deadlines, the Excel spreadsheets and the presentations. While spending this time at home I've noticed a few things:
Hyperactivity: I am trying to do too many things at home and I can't just focus on the job search. My body is too active yet I feel like I'm not getting anything done. At the same time I want to do more and more. It's a never ending cycle, I just can't take it easy and relax.
Perfectionism: Everything has to be perfect, for example my pantry has to be perfectly arranged, the laundry has to be perfectly folded. Even things with the baby have to be perfect, I can't stand it if a diaper is not put on correctly- this behavior is affecting the relationship with the spouse, I am driving her crazy.
Insomnia: I'm not getting enough sleep. I'm averaging 3 hours of sleep every night. I go to bed around 1 AM and I wake up around 4 to 4:30 AM. My body shuts down late but as soon as I wake up my brain is speeding and I can't go back to sleep. I refuse to take any sleeping aids or medications.
Caffeine: Extremely addicted to coffee, as soon as I wake up I make a pot, way over the 12 cup line on the carafe and by 8:30 it's all gone. I drink my coffee plain so I know it's not the sugar I'm craving. I am always tempted to make more but I resist, I think I'm already drinking way too much.
Alcohol: As most of you know this one has always been a problem for me. I drink way too much, I even make excuses like oh I haven't had a drink all week, then proceed to drink 9 to 10 drinks in one night. When I'm home all I think about is drinking. Not sure what to do about this one but life and family lead me to drink LOL
I have ADHD (diagnosed from childhood) and I wonder if that's impacting some of these behaviors. When I was a child I had many issues, even spent a week in the hospital...
Do I have a problem? Would you seek help? Of course, I don't think I have a problem :) I just need to go back to work.
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