Monday, August 6, 2012

Feeling Broke

I know the official definition for broke is having completely run out of money or penniless but this is the feeling I have lately. I'm down to $3,000 on the emergency fund and the other accounts, well they really don't have much as you can see on the latest snapshot of our bank accounts:


I took $1,000 out of our so called 'emergency fund' and sent it to Citi. The checking account is at $5.90 and will probably stay that way until pay day. The other account is my bill pay account and as you can see it's also drained. 

Not sure what to do next. August is typically a very expensive month. I have mom and dad birthdays this month so that will set me back a few hundred (which I don't have). The wife has back to school shopping both for herself and for classroom stuff. New to the expenses this month is the little one, since school starts back up this is when day care kicks in. Anyone with children and babies know how expensive that can get. I swear it's always something, feels like I can't catch a break and pay down the debt. There's always something or someone who wants our money.

Unexpected expense this month is a frozen embryo. I know our insurance won't cover any more fertility related expenses so it will costs us over $500 dollars to store it for another year. This is a though one, we had so much trouble conceiving that we can't just discard or donate our last embryo. I know it's only one but hopefully it too will become another miracle one day so for now I will try and find $500. 

How do you people do it it?! How do you stay afloat with your finances? I swear, I wish someone would take over the finances and just give me a weekly allowance!

HS

15 comments:

  1. Have you looked at what you spent your money on? I am going to guess there is a chunk on "food" which could be groceries, eating out, and alcohol. Also, it will look like you spent a chunk on "debt repay" because you are sending it to the CC. But what is that repaying??

    You need a budget that you will actually stick to. Impulse buying goes bye-bye. Mom and Dad's b-day....do we really need to go there?

    You said you need an allowance....so do it. On payday, you get X amount, and when it is gone....you don't get more. It will hurt in the beginning, but you will get used to it.

    This is reality...welcome to it.

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  2. I had to have a hard conversation with my family. They had to know that we were struggling with debt so I wouldn't feel the pressure to buy extravagant gifts for Christmas or birthdays. You don't have to disclose how much but be honest with yourself and be honest with them. There is no reason to spend hundreds of dollars on your parents for their birthdays - especially considering that your wife was on bedrest and you have a new baby. Trust me - they'll understand. Take a footprint of the babe and turn it into a sweet picture or put it on a plate to give to your parents. For around 40 bucks, you'll have a gift for them that will be less expensive and mean a whole lot more. But the truth is, unless you're honest with yourself, which I believe you're trying to be because you're still writing, this spiral will continue and (I hate to be harsh) - you'll NEVER get out of debt. Your life will ALWAYS feel like this. Time to man up!

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  3. Just read your post and I can totally relate. Whenever we start to get on track, another expense pops up. It can be miserable at times to work so hard and have next to nothing left over after paying bills. It a cycle for my husband and I - we sulk, we accept responsibility and get motivated all over again. Keep moving forward and best of luck to you on paying down debt :)

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  4. Just read your post and I can totally relate. Whenever we start to get on track, another expense pops up. It can be miserable at times to work so hard and have next to nothing left over after paying bills. It a cycle for my husband and I - we sulk, we accept responsibility and get motivated all over again. Keep moving forward and best of luck to you on paying down debt :)

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  5. There's nothing easy about budgetting... and as you said, it is, and always will be one thing after another. The best way to prepare for such things is to do as you've done, and create some cushion in your budget. Just like Aug is looking like a drainy month, remember that during the lighter months, to set aside as much savings as possible, to help you get through. Most important of all, keep moving forward.

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  6. I think I have figured it out about you buying parents costly bday gifts... they do not know how much debt you are in, and you are trying to keep up normal appearances. If you don't want to tell them about your debt, just tell them you are concerned about daycare expenses and still paying medical bills. I actually still don't get that your parents allow you to spend so much money on them. Mine are happy with a book off the bargain rack, or a cake and dinner at my home.

    Now, budget... I know exactly what we bring in every month, and what's left after fixed expenses. I have a good idea of what we spend on groceries too. I don't have any other "set" budget categories. I just try not to spend in excess of that leftover amount. I would not recommend this to you, but we put everything on a credit card, and pay it IN FULL EVERY month. I go online often and check my balance, and if we are spending too rapidly, we trim it down. We accumulate rewards this way too, which I use to pay for my kids' birthdays, which are only a few days apart.

    Sure things come up. If we've had a bad month we will be more conservative the next month. Or if we have a windfall of some overtime (which is rare) we put that straight back in savings. I am always, always looking for ways to put money in the savings account.

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  7. Little suggestion to save you some money for mom and dad's bday: a personal gift. Get a kit and make a stepping stone or something like that with your baby's handprints and footprints. Grandparents LOVE this stuff and it's inexpensive. Just trust me. Make one to keep for yourself too. They grow up so fast.

    There are also pottery place where you can go and paint her hands and feet and put it on a plate or bowl or whatever and they will glaze and fire it. Makes a FANTASTIC gift. A one of a kind gift. :)

    Hang in there, HS. Better days are around the corner.

    Awwwww......a baby HS is in the freezer waiting.

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  8. HS - I know that you are going to give us the excuse that your parents 'expect' an expensive gift. My question is - who set that expectation? If it is them, then THEY need a reality check and as their son, you need to give it to them. You have said that you want to keep up with the Jones'. Well, buddy, you might like the finer things in life, and you will get them no matter the cost, but in the end, it is costing you your sanity. Welcome to the real word - if you dare.

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  9. Both of our parents do A LOT for us. They've been really helpful with the baby, buying tons of formula and diapers, I need to make them feel appreciated on their special day...

    HS

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  10. Now that you're a parent, you'll soon learn (hopefully) that you don't expect anything grand in return of the generosity you bestow upon your child. In fact, it would make them feel horrible if they knew that their expensive birthday gifts are putting you in a deeper hole. I'm not even a parent yet, but my parents and my bf's parents have drilled it into our heads. They just want to feel appreciated, which you can very well convey with a thoughtful gift, rather than throwing money at them.

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  11. But you had the pattern of buying the expensive gifts BEFORE the baby.

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  12. Here's a question for you....fast forward 30 years....Baby is now an adult. Maybe she is married....

    You and the wife have done alot for her and her hubby. Maybe you gave them money towards a house. Bought them some nice furniture. Whatever.

    It is your birthday. Do you expect that she is going to lavish you with gifts? If you knew that she and hubby were struggling with finances....would you still expect it?

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  13. Mysti! I can't think that far ahead LOL But no I woudn't want any gifts from the little one!
    HS

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  14. To latch on what Mysti comment, then neither should your parents. It is YOU that is placing this expectation on the gift buying.

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  15. I definitely think you should spend time with your parents for their birthdays instead of money. Tell them you spend the money freezing their next grandkid. I'm sure they will appreciate it.

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