Thursday, June 23, 2011

In Vitro Fertilization Debt

I think we are about to do something stupid. We are planning to have an In Vitro fertilization procedure done this month. As some of you know, the wife's biological clock is ticking and I really want a baby, boy or girl I really don't care at this point.

The cost for this procedure is somewhere around $16,000 dollars!! Yes, that's a lot of money and money that, as you probably already know we don't have. Over the last two years we've spent most of our savings (10 to 15k). We've charged up the credit cards again and we can't seem to control our spending. The income is good but it just becomes a number in bank account that comes and goes. It feels like most of this reckless spending over the last couple of years has been due to infertility. It sounds crazy but it was a lot easier to take a vacation than to have to deal with the stress of friends and family having kids left and right (baby showers kill the wife).

I simply cannot take it anymore and part of me knows this is not going to work. So the plan is go in to more debt and see what happens. I'm looking at this as a new car I'm not going to buy or that next vacation we're not going to take. My only fear is that we won't conceive, we will have more debt and once again go crazy and spend money we don't have in order to heal some of the pain and stress infertility can cause.

Nothing good has happened over the last couple of years. Seems like things used to happen for a reason but not anymore. Life was always good. I got a decent car at 16. I graduated from high school with a diploma. I went to college, a very good university. Luck seemed to be on my side. In 2002 I graduated with a Bachelors degree in MIS. I had great job, made a lot of friends but decided to leave for a company with better pay. Three years later, again I left that company for more pay. During that time, I married the only woman who's ever going to love me. We bought a house, picked up Golden Retriever along the way... Things were going the way they were 'supposed' to go.

2007 came around and it was that time, it was supposed to be our time. My best friend had a baby, people at work were having babies, people in our family were 'accidentally' having babies. Cousins, brothers, sisters, even ex girlfriends wanted to let me know they had a baby! It was our time. Everything pointed to us having a baby. All the signs, symptoms, god, nature, you name it- it was supposed to happen BUT it never did.

If you read back a few months, I even offended fellow bloggers and was very rude to some people. Anger and envy set it, something I don't ever want to experience again. So I had a WTF was I thinking moment and simply stopped caring. I didn't care about work, our house, our dog etc. Over time we found things to focus on but the spending, drinking, partying went on... and here I am today in the same boat.

I don't know how to end this post, will it work? will it fail? will something good happen? who knows... all I know is we are about to add new debt- a lot of debt.

HS

Monday, June 13, 2011

32nd Birthday Party

I'm officially 32! I celebrated my birthday on Saturday at a very nice restaurant in Houston. The restaurant is a steak house with a Latin twist. I invited 14 people and everyone showed up. Most guest arrived a little bit earlier and paid for their own drinks at the bar. The food and company was great, I truly enjoyed this birthday.

I'm proud to say I'm the new owner of an iPad 2 16 GB in white:



My wife managed to get 'some' money from some of the guests and surprised me at the restaurant. I think she still had to put in 100 but luckily it was only 499 plus tax. I opened it in front of everyone and pass it around the table.

I also got a bottle of Grey Goose vodka and a bottle of Johnnie Walker black label scotch. Alcohol always makes a good gift. I also got a new dress suit- according to my mom I've lost weight and I didn't look right last time I wore a suit for mother's day (Thanks mom!). I got a couple of shirts from Banana Republic and a new pair of sunglasses. I also opened a $100 iTunes gift card, a $100 Apple store gift card and $100 Best Buy gift card. I cannot complain, it was a very nice birthday :)

The cost: Inviting 14 people out to dinner is not cheap. The bill was close to $800 dollars. People offered to pay but it was an invite, I couldn't make them pay. Luckily my parents and in laws picked up most of the tab. I still charged a small amount on my credit card but went home and paid it right back, I will probably also profit from the rewards points.

I want to thank everyone for the birthday wishes on my previous post. Thank YOU for your support. I promise you I will pay down my debt and for you I'm also looking at giving away gift cards or doing some kind of give away. So stick with me this year, I will make this happen.

HS

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Happy Birthday

Well I'm turning 32 next week. It's a scary feeling since I never thought I would see 25 or 30 but now I'm well in to the 30's. I don't mind getting older I just don't want to lose my looks LOL.

What I really want this year:



An iPad 2 signed by all my friends and family. How cool would that be? I hinted to the wife I wanted one so hopefully she's getting money from everyone. I'm having a small party so maybe I'll get to open one next week :)

As I turn 32 I'm feeling a little lost. We still don't have any children and I told the wife I have no desire to adopt. This is causing a little bit of friction in our relationship. I have this strange constant fear that one day our relationship will end because of this. For now I'm not going to worry about it but it's always in the back of my mind.

My current job and career is also an issue. I really don't know why I'm there or why they want me there. My entire team here came from offshore to learn what we do and take that knowledge back home. I used to run things but now they took over the project, I am no longer included in any meetings or discussions about the work. I'm sure they will let me go soon but it's frustrating that I get comfortable with a job and then India or the Philippines ruins things and I have to do something else. Offshoring is great and I'm sure people like it but as I get older I just feel out of place.

Debt- the reason why I have this blog so keep coming back to see me spend and try to pay it all back. Hopefully next year will be less spending and more paying back

Happy Birthday to me!

HS