I can't take it anymore, debt is winning! The bills keep coming in, the expenses keep going up. This week we had a doctor bill that was close to $800 dollars. I went ahead and paid it, it hurt. Last week it was another copay at a new doctor's office, that was $150. Financial counselor there said expect to pay $150 per month for the next few months. Then we have prescription meds, they also have copay's so there went another $100. This week I also had to take care of a speeding ticket and that set me back $150. I am done. Debt you win, I can't pay you down right now.
I know I always talk about life happening and it does, if it's not one thing it's another. This week I have another expensive birthday and I'm thinking this one's going to set me back $400. I need to fix the brakes on my car, that will probably cost $300 dollars. We have our HOA fees coming up in November that will set us back $850. I'm waiting for stuff to go out around the house. I'm constantly inspecting the washer and dryer or the water heater.
Work is killing and not helping with the stress. It's me and eight girls in my team and I'm surrounded by them. I sit in the center by a window, they're all around me. Did you know that ladies love to gossip and say things like 'could you come by my desk and help me complete this task'. They also talk on the phone about personal stuff UGH! I don't want to hear every phone conversation you have. I know, be lucky you have a job that keeps you up til midnight every night and wants you in the office every morning no later than nine.
The plan? there is no plan or goals right now. I can't take it anymore. I'm going to do the things I love. I'm going to continue working out. This week I'm going to sign up for a 5K race and take out all my anger and stress on the race. After this race I'm going to drink alcohol! Yes I don't care right now! I'm in that selfish, self-destructive state of mind. I hope to be back soon with a different attitude but for now I need a break...
Debt You Win!
HS
Hump Day
2 hours ago
21 comments:
How is "another expensive birthday" going to set you back $400?? Who's birthday is this??
My birthday is next month and I'm not even going to spend $400 on myself!
Just a question I can understand the money for the doctor, treatments and prescriptions. But the birthday? Is this someone that you HAVE to pay this much for or want to pay this much for.
I am not being confrontational I am just wondering since that seems like a huge amount for anyones biirthday
Judy
If you have to put your debt on ice, so be it - you probably don't pay high rates or could get it transferred to 0% or some low APR since I'm guessing you have great credit.
I can't argue with all the medical bills - that's just life. You do live in an expensive house, though, right? And did you do what I suggested in the last post which is go through what you actually spend on what (for example, could wearing clothes already owned instead of buying more at Macy's make room for paying the medical co-pays?)
I have to agree with "hithatsmybike" - my birthday was last month and my husband bought me a t-shirt the month before because I asked him to (and I called it a birthday gift to let him off the hook for feeling like he had to buy me something), and my MIL sent me $100 for my birthday (because she can afford it) and I put it straight to bills. Eventually I bought some used (barely) shoes from Ebay for $17 + $8 shipping (just got here on Saturday) and justified it because of the $100 gift earlier. That's it for me and my birthday! You might want to adjust your gift-giving standards.
I think the idea of keeping up the exercise and running the 5k is great, especially for stress relief.
Medical bills, car repair, birthdays, these are all expenses that we all have.
You need to set money aside each month to cover such "surprise" expenses. If medical costs are high, stick $100-200/month into an account specifically for medical costs. If car repairs happen several times a year, new tires are needed periodically, oil changes, tune ups, etc... put $150/month into an account specifically for car repair adn maintenance. That way when these expenses pop up, as they WILL and do for everyone, you won't have to put your budget or debt repayment on hold because the money will be there to pay for most, if not all of the surprise bill. This is what we do and it works. You make a good amount of money. You should be able to set aside $600-1000/month for surprise expenses... and when the expenses pop up, USE THE MONEY you set aside to pay for it. This is the only way to get on top of your finances. If it means cutting back on some indulgences like restaurants, booze, technology, clothing, etc... so be it.
Good luck!
HS - if you keep up this attitude, Debt will ALWAYS win!
You know, I don't care what people say. We'll always be in debt. House payments. Car notes. House payments. Taxes.
But stuff happens. Be happy. Enjoy life. Go to your races. Enjoy your life!!!! As far as I know, we get one shot at this. Money doesn't caught over into the hereafter. Live your life the best you can and be happy. The debt isn't going anywhere. Pay it as you can. Having debt doesn't make you a bad person. Not being yourself does.
Be you. Enjoy life. Pay your bills according to the terms you accepted. Everything else will fall into place.
No advice, there is plenty here...just hoping you get out of this funk soon...I would hate for you to get in any deeper....
Sending only good thoughts your way...
Go running. Go running mad and take your anger at the road. But don't let debt win. It wont win by itself, you have to LET it win in order for it to win, so put your armory and weaponry down, go hit the road hard, and come back cool-headed and hit this challenge right where it hurts. You have the support of very nice people who believe in you (even I who just found you through Rhitter @ Planet Debt Free. I look forward to seeing how you move along and retracing your steps.
(I agree with the rest! No birthday should cost $400 when you are panicking about paying bills!)
Dude...we can beat the birthday horse again if you want...but you already know that deal.
As for the medical stuff...I agree with Makky's Mom....put money aside in a separate account so you have it for when you need it.
Getting out of debt is a mindset. And I know you are struggling here. But if you give in to it...there is a VERY high chance that you will end up charging up a storm while in this funk, and you will be that much worse off.
I think you really have to be honest with yourself. If you are ok with debt...with paying interest....with always having a payment to someone....then so be it. If you want to live your life that way....at least own up to it.
I think you need to look at your spending. I read your post about Steve Jobs. You wrote about all the Apple merchandise you own. No wonder you are in debt. Also, we spend $100 on birthdays. You need to cut back if you want to be serious about getting out of debt.
You are making choices. You are choosing to be in debt.
exercise - do it ~ I am sure that it will help to just get out all of the stress... and like 444 said, if you need to take a little break from debt, do it especially if it helps the mental healthy.
stay positive.
Don't give up man. right now I'm dealing with a debt collector on a debt I already paid. I have evidence and they don't even car. I'd love some viral love if you can spread my story. It's on my blog here: http://thethriftyguru.com/debt-collectors-lies-t-mobile/2011/10/19/
And don't drink too much after that race, you might regret it :)
how on earth can a birthday cost $400?
all those expenses are part of 'life', and yes they are bloody annoying! But they still need to be dealt with if you want to get out of this binge purge debt cycle you seem to be in.
I hope you come back from the gym feeling a bit better about it all
Stop the crap! Do something about it.
I'm glad that you are taking care of YOU and doing things that you enjoy like exercise, etc. Good for you!
Sometimes we just have to step back and catch our breath. You haven't posted for a couple of days so I am hoping that you are just taking a break and building some momentum and motivation for yourself.
Since you willingly put it out there I will ask, do you HAVE to buy a $400 birthday gift?
Many years ago we stopped giving gifts to everyone except our own children, and even then it didn't cost all that much.
We just told people that we couldn't afford it. We couldn't afford to let pride stand in the way.
I imagine yours isn't about pride at all, but about the fact that you are a giving person and you love being able to do that.
You are doing a great job so hang in there and keep plugging away. You CAN do this, you are doing this!
I would just encourage you to seriously reconsider a $400 birthday gift, no matter what the reason. No one who really loves you would want you to put you in that position, my friend!
You have mentioned infertility treatments here before. Are these medical expenses related to that? I am not trying to be harsh here but... are you ready to take on the expense of raising a child when you are struggling with bills and a job you are not satisfied with?
People will say that if you wait until you are truly financially ready for kids, then you will never have them. But seriously kids are expensive. Our first was born preterm, spent time in the NICU, then 2.5 years of occupational therapy. That was a big financial blow... even with our decent insurance. And we had no idea that was coming; my health was fine and the pregnancy was normal, until I ended up in the hospital in preterm labor.
Even a normal situation.... one bout of bronchitis in my non-preemie has many times set us back $200 for doc visit and multiple prescriptions. Or the time my firstborn got a stomach virus that landed him in the hospital, to the tune of $800 for our portion of the bill.
Please think carefully.
I agree with what everyone else has said here, but I also want to really encourage you to use this "break" you're taking to critically examine your situation and to identify ways you can improve it.
I speak from my personal experience of paying off $14K in credit card debt in less than one year--you CAN do it! But you have to believe that before you will see progress. Until you believe in yourself and your ability to control this situation, you'll unfortunately keep having these regressions. Setbacks are natural and will happen, but regressions are what will keep you stuck in the mud.
Please stop by my blog to read about how I changed my finances and life--I think it could be helpful. Or email me if you'd like. Whatever you do, keep up with the running/exercise because it will benefit you in numerous ways, but be prepared to make some hard sacrifices and changes when you return from this blip on the map.
GOOD LUCK!
This is primarily the reason why we need to save... so that we will have the money to spend during this unwanted and "unforeseen" events.
Kelly- "You know, I don't care what people say. We'll always be in debt. House payments. Car notes. House payments. Taxes."
I disagree. I know many people who are not in debt. I got out of debt, and that inspired my cousin and her husband, as well as three of my closest friends to pay off their debt, save, and do big dream things like moving across the country, quitting the job they hate, and going back to school without being saddled with debt payments. It is possible. It took each of us about 2 to 3 years to do it, but now we don't have those worries anymore.
HS- I'm so sorry you're stressed. Your frustration just leaps off the page and I can understand feeling overwhelmed! Just take a step back and try to take it one thing at at time.
My older brother was trying to get a report on birds written that he'd had three months to write, which was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother's shoulder, and said, "Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird."
-- Anne Lamott
Hi.. I am the mom of the preemie here. Just updating with another example of expensive kids... my 2nd child just had 2 rounds of a stomach virus in 2 weeks. Had an ER visit for that, don't know the bill amount yet. Several hundred our part for sure.
Had to add that we were where you are once. My hubby had $12K in credit card debt when we met, in 1995... on a $20K per year job. He immediately closed accounts and got on a plan with consumer credit counseling. That did not work out, because they kept making our payments late to the credit card companies. What did work was I got a loan from our bank, using my good credit... and we spent the next 3 years paying it off with our combined salaries (about $39K). I drove a plain little Dodge Neon, and he had a variety of $800 cars. We lived in an old duplex in the worst part of town with cheap rent. I spent $50 per week on groceries, and every bit of spare money, overtime, tax returns, went to that debt.
My car (purchased before I met him) was also paid off during this time, and we bought a small 2 BR home for an amount way less than the lenders qualified us for.
Fifteen years later we have two kids and live modestly on hubby's income (at a much better 80K/yr job). He puts 10% into 401K, which does eat into our money to live on! Our home is old, but in a nice neighborhood and just big enough. We only carry one car payment at a time, and currently have no car payments. The only credit card balance we ever carry is the occasional 6 months same as cash purchase to replace a broken appliance. Any extra money again goes to paying off the appliance in the 6 month time frame.
You can do this. I think if you stayed home more, cooked at home more, nixed the expensive birthday celebrations, expensive gadgets, brand-name purses, you could do this. The blowing and going is what's getting you down.
We still do fun things, vacation, but it's more like an occasional treat instead of an every weekend thing.
Amanda
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