Another area of focus in our lives is health and weight. The wife and I started Body For Life a few weeks ago. At first it reminded me of those fad diets like South Beach and Atkins but after reading the book I realized it could work for us. Body for life is a 12 week program where you combine exercise, cardio and change eating habits. What we like about this program is you have eat every 2 hours. Our goal, like this title of the book is to do this for life. We started the program 5 weeks ago and we have another 7 weeks to go. This program works! I took my weight this morning and I was amazed! I've lost 15 pounds over the last 5 weeks.
For anyone looking for the book or reviews, here's a link on Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Body-Life-Mental-Physical-Strength/dp/0060193395
The main thing about this program is you need to have motivation and will power or it will not work. You have to change how you think about food and what goes in to the body. You have to work out 6 days a week but Sundays you get to cheat and eat anything you want- hamburgers, pizza? go for it.
All this brings me back to 'debt'. I am trying to figure out how I can do something similar with our finances and have the wife on board. I would love to do Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover but the wife has no interest. She refuses to do any of the bills or work on a budget with me. She's happy with her check card, Macy's card and a credit card for emergencies. I wish she could see the big picture...maybe I need some kind of reward for her?
She loves our 'Body For Life' program. She read the book, we sit down and come up with a weekly store list. We shop for groceries together and cook most of our meals together. We even work out at the same time and have similar weight goas... why can't it be the same with our money!?
HS
Hump Day
2 hours ago
5 comments:
I hope the wifey gets on board with you regarding the debt.
First of all, I should let you know your blog has an ad for a payday loan which is hilarious. But, onto the big stuff.
Do you guys have separate finances? If you do that's the only reason I can understand her refusal to participate. If you DON'T have separate finances then it's time to take away the Macy's, the "emergency" credit card, and thd check card too. If she's not willing to do bills or budget then you have to do those and that means you have to control the cash flow or you'll NEVER balance. Allowance system for her. No if's, ands, or buts. BTW WHY do you have a macy's card and an emergencies card? Why aren't those things in the shredder?
But really, you guys are looking at a HUGE problem and I'm speaking from personal experience. If this is something REALLY SUPER DUPER important to you, then she should most definitely show interest.
Money is the key divider in relationships. Get on the same page before you guys have a family. TRUST ME.
I agree with mutant supermodel. Money can be a huge, divisive issue in a relationship, especially if the two of you are polar opposites. It might be interesting to have some sort of mediated counseling session, to try and understand what her motivation is. Why does she think it is better to live essentially paycheck to paycheck, putting emergencies on credit cards? Why is she so resistant to a budget? How can you negotiate with her? Etc. Because I have witnessed, firsthand, the awful effects of a marriage in which one person is a spendthrift and the other is saver- or wants to be. Kids exponentially multiply expenses, by a lot or a little, depending on how one approaches child rearing. If the two of you are already going to have to undergo expensive fertility treatments, that in and of itself needs to be addressed. And then, when it comes to raising potential future children, there are hundreds of possible ways to approach that, ranging from frugal to out of this world exorbitant. Being on the same page isn't just a nice idea, but I think it's honestly really necessary!
Umm ... mutant ... this is his wife we're talking about, not his 3-year-old daughter. She is an adult and gets to make her own decisions. He can't give her an allowance - the money is as much hers as his. As with all adult relationships, if he wants change, the onus is on him to convince her.
Speaking as the spouse of someone who had zero motivation to attack debt with "gazelle-like intensity," it is my suggestion that you first try to convince your wife to spend within your means. Then, as more money comes along (raises, gifts, etc.) ask to put some portion of that towards debt. At the beginning, we split Christmas presents from our parents (who both tend to give cash), and I spent my half on debt while he spent his half on toys. It was frustrating, but I kept at it, because there was no stuff that I wanted as much as I wanted that debt gone.
Be excited when you hit even little debt milestones, and share that excitement with her. It took my husband a while, but he eventually even agreed to give up some of his perks so we could get out of debt faster (and all the Christmas cash went to debt last year:), once he saw how much it meant to me, and that it wasn't just a fad I was on that month.
Good Luck!
Yeah you definitely need to get your wife on board. Getting out of debt is an uphill battle when only one party is playing the game.
This really requires two-way communication. Not only is it important to get her to understand why it's important to you, but it is just as important that you understand her viewpoint and motivation. From there, you can work out a plan that includes some level of teamwork regarding your debt.
It's possible to get her to agree to an allowance and otherwise let you run with the ball on the debt thing. I've seen that kind of arrangement work before.
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