No matter what we do we still can't seem to control our spending! Golf is my new hobby and it is very expensive, on average I spend $60 to tee off with friends. Add beer and lunch and I'm easily spending $100 per weekend. The wife had a birthday last week and that came close to $1200! Our dog is also spending close to $120 per month on food. Our jobs are also costing us money, I have to entertain clients and go to happy hours. Some of it is free but I always tend to charge a few things. My wife has to buy school supplies and teaching aids, this past weekend she spent close to $100.
Most of my spending goes on the Citi Forward credit card. I continue to pay down the card but the balance continues to go up. The balance right now is close to $3,000. I will be making a $1000 payment next week, hopefully it will be paid off soon.
We have no desire to change. I think we enjoy our lifestyle. I think it will take a drastic like event like a job loss to put an end to this spending. Many times I wonder why I even have this blog. Seems like the debt will never go away. I continue to spend money I don't have. I see something, I just buy it. I never stop and think about debt or the future.
Like the old saying goes, Champagne Taste on a Beer Budget...
HS
Menu Monday
3 hours ago
19 comments:
It's a habit... spending. Like smoking, it takes time to change habits. So maybe you don't make it your goal to go the complete opposite, maybe a more attainable goal is to not spend more than you can pay off each month. That way you get to keep the 'habit', but in a slightly modified manner... work your way slowly to debt free... just an idea?
I am with you - I will do good for even a few months - but then it all goes out the window when we just go out & binge shop! And I hear you - I honestly have a hard time trying to have the desire to change... I enjoy our lifestyle... we do fun things, we have nice stuff... just crazy - good luck!
If you can pay $1000 toward your card...why not use that cash to pay as you go?
You may be ok with your lifestyle now, but it doesn't take long before the balances are more than you can handle. A few emergencies can really throw you out of wack.
I know you don't have kids now...not sure if you are planning on having them or not....but if you do, you will find that they are $$$. Might want to think about that as you run up your debt.
"We have no desire to change"
Sums it up for me. I just removed your blog from my favorites.
Wrong attitude. It isn't 'whatever you do you can't control your spending" You are choosing not to control your spending plain and simple.
You dont have to give up what you enjoy but you do need to modify it. Golf once or twice a month and don't eat there. You still get to golf but you don't eat over priced food that really isnt that spectacular anyway.
Life is all about coices. You are choosing to live beyond your means.
I am disappointed to hear that you say "we have no desire to change". It is not safe to live above your means. The economy is tough right now and managing your money is important. You are already not getting a raise this year. I have never spent over $1000 on my birthday. Golf is expensive and maybe you should think about playing less. Maybe you and your wife can go and volunteer at a local mission/food bank to see what you really have and what is important. It seems like you are "chasing the wind" for things that really don't satisfy in life. I have never seen a Uhaul behind a hearse. I am trying to leave a legacy and not debt for those I love. I do hope it does not take a job loss or something horrible to wake you up. Still hoping for the best for yall.
Hmm--you may feel this way today, but you didn't yesterday or when you started the blog. My guess is, you won't feel the same tomorrow, either. What I find is that my emotional response to my financial state is all over the map and ever-changeable. But the fact that you have the blog at all says that some (rational!) part of you knows you cannot live like this forever. What I love about blogs is how individuals can chart these emotional ups and downs--it makes the rest of us with bi-polar finances feel less alone.
I understand how you feel.As my family embarks on the long journey of getting rid of our MASSIVE debt, determining the changes that we should and those we must make in our lifestyle is the hard part. We don't want to make the changes but know we need to . I am hopping that keeping a blog will keep up the motivation.
maybe if you got rid of your credit cards, you would be forced to use cash, plan, budget, etc. sometimes that is the only way. its like that is the safety net and when it's gone, it so scary that you just have to make sure you have $.
1200?? For a birthday?? An average of $100 a week on golf?? Hindsight shows me .... birthday gift a VERY REASONABLE $50 no golf for one month and you've paid off two thirds of that credit card, add the $1000 your going to throw at this month and you've wiped that debt clean!!
Choices, choices, choices.
(1200 for a birthday ... oh dear)
"No desire to change," I don't buy it. No pun intended. Why do you blog about it? You desperately want to change, but you have fear. You probably feel like you will lose control if you go on a budget. Like you will be giving up the hold you have on what you want in your life. Thing is, the exact opposite happens: budgeting GIVES you the control over your money and stops the money from controlling you.
Nobody is saying you have to give up everything you love, like golf. But is the payment worth the payoff? That's what you need to ask yourself. Pull your head out of the sand and stop telling yourself you have no desire to change. If that were true, you wouldn't be sharing it here.
I know I was harsh. You can always delete this! You are the first person I've heard be honest that Dave Ramsey didn't help you. That fascinates me. Yet you keep this blog? Maybe he spoke to you more than you realize...
I do hope it doesn't take a catastrophic event before you and your wife wake up to the reality you are investing in. When it comes to money there is no middle ground: you are spending it; or you are saving it.
Just one more thing -- I do appreciate your honesty with your emotions regarding your spending. I think you are very real, and way more typical than many might think. I am just fascinated that you're choosing to write about it...
We all have moments where we are less dedicated to getting out of debt than others. There are days when I really don't feel like paying the extra towards my car loan because I want to do something else with the money.
But the real test of someone's dedication is their eventual actions. In my case, I have it set up so that not paying the extra is harder than just letting it go through. I have made a choice to default to paying that. Everything else has to make room. I also don't put anything on a credit card that I wasn't already going to buy (food / gas) and that can't be paid off at the end of the month.
At the same time, you're making consistent choices that tell me where your priorities are. At least you're admitting that and I can't fault you for the honesty. It is important to recognize what matters in your own life. If these luxuries and comforts are more important than getting and remaining debt free, you will continue as you have in the past.
My only concern is that by the time a drastic enough event comes along, you'll wait too long to change your lifestyle and/or be unable to reasonably survive it without something equally drastic (like bankruptcy).
You say you have no desire for change… but do you mean it? You're THINKING about it, otherwise you wouldn't even have a pf blog. I think you need to stop this bullshit keeping up with the jonses shit and take responsibility. Do you really want to keep digging yourself into this hole? Grow up.
I'm pretty sure you once made a comment on my blog along the lines of "how could you spend $1000 on a leather jacket?? and I would never let my wife spend $300 on a purse!"
I find that ironic considering you spent $1200 on your wife's birthday. I returned that jacket, but it would have given me many years worth of use, whereas that b-day gave her, what, a day's worth of enjoyment? :P
You need to face facts. You're now in your 30s. The time for mindless spending is long past. You can still enjoy life without being crazy about it. If the debt never goes away, how are you going to retire?
Are you crazy??!! I looked your previous months or further. You need to stop spending like there is no tommorrow. I have done many times in the past. And, recently,I finally set my budget straight. I'm telling you that it's painful to go through and emotional experience to manage financial myself. I have about 6300. on credit card,4800. on car,and 53,000 house mortgage. I don't know what i'm thinking at the time. But, I have to deal with it. It's very stress for me personally. One positive I have is pay off sear card. Yes! Feel good about it but, I have long way to go. I still have to press on to get out of debt. One thing I like to mention that I don't hold credit card, I gave to my sister far away from me is best thing for me to control debt or not charge at all. So, You both need sit down and write a budget. So, i agree what people said on blog. It is not worth going into debt at all for any reason. I hate being in debt so much. wish you luck!!
Why not start planning some big goals that require savings, like starting a family or a dream vacation or retirement. You obviously need a reason to start saving and stop spending, try finding that reason. Let's face it, spending is giving you some emotional satisfaction, albeit in the short term. Start looking at the big picture beyond your immediate wants. You need to be prepared for that big life changing event, not reacting afterwards. And $1200 for a birthday is ridiculous, I just had to pay for 3 close family member's birthday's and spent half of that in total. You need to be honest with yourself and the lifestyle you can afford, put down the magazines and turn off the TV. You're not rich, stop living like you are.
Removing you from my RSS feed. This is a blow by blow of a spending spree with no intent to change. I hope you grow up before an emergency forces you to.
Just found your blog. Haven't read much, but I find your honesty a cry for help. Maybe I am wrong. I would be livid if my husband ever spent $1200 on my birthday-- absolutley livid. What a waste in my opinion. Take her on a picnic with a fancy homemade lunch that you made from scratch! Look--- we were way in debt 15 years ago and we managed to get out very quickly-- but it meant us changing. It will never happen unless you change.
Keep being honest----- you can change and it will make a difference. Take care.
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